Being a parent to two children under 4 and caring a great deal about how our kids turn out with respect to manners and courtesy, I am so glad my lovely wife devised a daily rewards system ritual for the kids.
The Process
The kids need to behave a certain way consistently throughout the day and perform specific chores in order to get stickers. These stickers go into a chart or grid and at the end of the day we review and provide feedback on how the day went. If they fill up their charts, then they get to pick anything they want from the "Treasure Box".
The Template
Each child gets his or her own chart. The tasks or behaviors are "SMART" (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-bound). Don't worry, we aren't trying to micromanage our children like the "anal retentive chef".
We treat our kids as kids, not direct reports. But I really like this chart as a parenting tool to impart accountability in a fun way.
It breaks both our hearts. But we always remind them of the good work they did that day, and that tomorrow is another day: another chance to improve and get that Treasure Box.
The Results
Since we introduced this into our parenting toolkit, I've observed a noticeable improvement in both kids' behaviors. Neither child was a terror to begin with, but I have heard my son use "please" and "thank you" without being prompted. These actions, witnessed by his baby sister, have inspired her to use those magic words too. I'll follow up in a month or so on the progress of the Treasure Box experiment, but so far I am pleased with the impact it's had on our family.
The Process
The kids need to behave a certain way consistently throughout the day and perform specific chores in order to get stickers. These stickers go into a chart or grid and at the end of the day we review and provide feedback on how the day went. If they fill up their charts, then they get to pick anything they want from the "Treasure Box".
The Template
Each child gets his or her own chart. The tasks or behaviors are "SMART" (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-bound). Don't worry, we aren't trying to micromanage our children like the "anal retentive chef".
Here's a link to a PDF of our two kids' reward charts if you're interested in trying this yourselves.
The Review Process
We discuss each line item (8 things for our 3.5 year old, 5 things for our 2 year old) and recount good examples of their positive behavior. If they'd successfully satisfied the criteria, they get a sticker.
Once all stickers are on the chart and we have our daily totals, we announce who gets to pick something from the treasure box.
Reviewing the day's progress and awarding stickers with our son.
The Reward - Treasure Box
At first I was worried that this parenting tool would get expensive, fast. But it really isn't. Bargain aisles, dollar stores, and shops like Party City are great places to find inexpensive swag to reward excited toddlers. My wife and I picked a bevy of items from Party City, Michaels and Target for our first month of the experiment. Prices range between 20 cents to $3 for a "special" item.
We place all of the items, rummage sale style, into a large brightly colored metal bucket (drink cooler size).
Glimpsing El Dorado, lost city of kitsch
When we announce who gets treasure box (usually both kids have earned it), the energy in the room is palpable as I get the bucket down from on top of the fridge. Sometimes the kids are paralyzed by choice, but my son usually has an item or two in mind before we even get it down.
Our son channeling Louis Armstrong, playing on his hard-won trumpet whistle
The Heartbreak - Not Getting Treasure Box
Of course, not everyday is a good day. Sometimes the tantrums come pouring out. Big brother clips kid sister. Both kids give us an attitude at mealtime and throw food after being repeatedly told not to. It happens, and when it does it's hard to tell a crying toddler that they are not going to get their beloved Treasure Box.
The Results
Since we introduced this into our parenting toolkit, I've observed a noticeable improvement in both kids' behaviors. Neither child was a terror to begin with, but I have heard my son use "please" and "thank you" without being prompted. These actions, witnessed by his baby sister, have inspired her to use those magic words too. I'll follow up in a month or so on the progress of the Treasure Box experiment, but so far I am pleased with the impact it's had on our family.
Comments
Post a Comment